Bad Joke of the Week

Paladin's and Mercy Killings

What would a paladin do?

Paladin of Tymora: I'll flip a coin. Tails you live and head you lose yours.
Paladin of Sune: I won't kill you but if you'd like one last *wink*nod*wink* then stand at the back of the line.
Paladin of Cyric: It would be my honor. *kill* *raises as undead*
Paladin of Torm: You DARE to abandon your post? Torm strike you down coward! *kill*
Paladin of Loviatar: Hold that thought; here are some nice Orc gentlemen I wanted you to meet.
Paladin of Waukeen: What's it worth to ya?
Paladin of Mask: Well I dunno.. LOOK OVER THERE! *Backstab, rifle through coinpurse*
Paladin of Oghma: *First recites a summation of this thread, complete with cross-indexed references and legal precedences from 3 planes, citing various previous Paladins and dieties and the various and sundry means by which such an act could be accomplished and justified then stops as the orc horde falls over from boredom and blinks owlishly* "I'm sorry, what was the question again?"

Quote of the Week

“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

I need Your Help

I am participating in a fund raiser for Muscular Dystrophy that culminates in my "arrest" on August 19th. If you would want to help post my bail and contribute to a good cause you can do so by going here. Thanks

This Day in History

On July 26 1775, Ben Franklin established our Postal system. So, in honor of that, here are the top ten ways the Post Office will spend the profits from the increase in postage:

10. Hire consultants to figure out how to plan next rate hike.
9. Find new and better ways to lose our nation's mail.
8. Stamps the size of door mats!
7. Face lift for Mr. Zip.
6. Commemorative stamp collection featuring President Clinton and all of his mistresses.
5. Lobby to put a mailman on Mount Rushmore.
4. Battery-operated vibrating mail bags.
3. Special stamp glue that gives you a three hour buzz.
2. Retain the services of Robert Shapiro.
And the number one way to spend the profit....

1. Ammo! Ammo! Ammo!

Historicon 08

Brother Palmer went to this event and said it was pretty cool, especially if you are into historical miniatures and gaming of that nature. It looks like price wise it is pretty reasonable, $15 for one day. Stevo said the exhibit hall was huge so that is always a plus. It looks like there are gaming sessions and also seminars we could attend. Maybe next year we can go as a group and then go camp and tour Gettysburg. The dates for next year are Thursday July 16 through Sunday July 19 so let's mark the calendar now boys. We'll be expecting a full report, including pictures, when Stevo returns. I wonder if he had any unexpected guests over there?

Bad Joke of the Week

Why do dwarves have such big nostrils?

Look at the size of their fingers!!

Oven Stone Pizzeria

Kudos go out to our boy BJ. He has opened his pizza shop, Oven Stone Pizzeria on Columbus' Southeast side. This, my brothers, is a truly outstanding pizza. I can't wait until we can all venture out together to enjoy this. Well met and well done BJ!!!

Quote of the Week

“All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

The Dark Knight

This morning I went and saw the much awaited, much ballyhooed new Batman movie, The Dark Knight. A movie with a cast of Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman and others shouldn't suck. And it didn't.

First a quick word about the Joker, played brilliantly by Heath Ledger. I went to this movie prepared to see an over rated, over hyped performance by Ledger. I was wrong. Heath's Joker is a terrorist who is creepy and scary, and at times sadly funny. The crowd laughed at scenes I'm not so sure were intended to be funny. But there were two different scenes where the crowd loses it with the delivery of one word by the Joker. Like they say timing is everything. The Joker represents a lot of things that are currently wrong with America and the world. There have been enough commentaries about the premature death of such a fine actor so I don't want this to be another. But what a waste of life and God given talent. He will be missed.

Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman show you exactly what screen studs they are as they play their roles brilliantly. Gary Oldman's Lt. Gordon is a truly virtuous character, a paladin of sorts, amidst a sea of corruption. And his closing monologue will more than likely give you goose bumps and raise the hair on the back of your neck. Kudos to the writers for including the names of some early comic book adversaries with the crime families.

I really think this is better than Ironman, which I thought was easily the best Super Hero flick to date. This movie is action packed from the minute it starts. There are some incredible stunts, great camera work and fine performances to be enjoyed and they far out weigh the over indulgent scenes which will remind you of the earlier Batman movies. We didn't stay until the credits were over so I'm not sure if there are any hidden gems or not. (Update-- No hidden scenes)

This movie takes you on an emotional thrill ride that lasts the entire movie and I can't wait for the next film that caps off this trilogy. I'm not sure if they will go with Catwoman, Riddler, Penguin or some other Super Villian for the next one but whoever it is I'm sure it will be awesome, although they did throw out a Cat reference. The only thing this movie was missing was a really hot temptress so we will have that to look forward to in the next one.

DC Comics certainly answered the bell with this movie. After Marvel dominated the big screen recently this is more than a nice little come back, it is a catapult to the top of the heap. DC needs to build on this momentum and keep cranking out the great work. I will go see this one again and so should you. Grab an Adventurer and say "Here... we...go" to see the best comic book movie ever. He is our silent protector, our vigilant watchman, The Dark Knight.

I give it 5 Floyd's only because I can't give it 6.

Gen Con and Mega Bus

It looks like we will be riding Mega Bus to Gen Con. All we need to do now is figure out when we will be leaving and returning. The good thing is the bus drops us off right at the convention center. The bad news is we are limited to one bag and one carry on, so no rolling TSR libraries will be going with us. But we should be able to take a lot of card games. I have been working on an adventure for newbies so maybe I will bring that if you guys want to try to play on the bus. If we do that just bring a set of dice and I will provide the characters. Let me know what you guys all think about this as we will probably need to purchase tickets soon.

Oh Crap or Can't Smile Without You

Durwaine, Keithstradamus and I went to see Hellboy 2 the other night. It was a really good adventurers movie and very fun to watch. Ron Perlman plays Hellboy perfectly and wise cracks his way through the flick. Hellboy is a pretty tough demon hero from Hell who loves Kittens and always wants to save the world from the "bad" guys and always with a great disdain for anonymity while wielding Big Baby.

There are some pretty cool special effects, especially with the miniatures and puppets, in this movie and some that might turn up next time I DM. Selma Blair is really hot in her role as Liz Sherman, I mean hot!! Hellboy is a pretty tough, cigar chomping, demon hero from Hell who loves kittens and always wants to save the world from the "bad" guys. His side kick from the BPRD (Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense) acts like a cross between Spock and C3PO, aqua creature Abe played by Doug Jones (who was the body of the Silver Surfer). Guillermo del Toro does a great job with both the story and directing this comic book movie sequel.

The comic book genre is kicking ass this summer with Iron Man, Hulk, Hancock and Hellboy 2. Next up is Friday's release of the Dark Knight sequel.

Oh Crap, go see this flick. I give it 4 Floyds.

Adventurers Pizza Run

Calling all Adventurers!! When we next gather in Cbus, we will have a new pizza place to assault. Our very own Zoltar (know to the real world as B.J. Freese) has opened Oven Stone Pizzeria south east of Eastland Mall. He has promised Adventurer's discounts with a special message for the Wallet Draining Lich; refills will be free!! If you have never had some of Zoltar's pizza you are in for quite the treat. There will be a friends and family preview on Sunday July 20th (which includes all of us)so if you don't make it out for that I'll post a full report, with pictures, on Monday morning to fill you in. Congratulations Zoltar!

To read the article scroll down until you see "Family pizza"

Quote of the Week

“There is nothing like looking, if you want to find something. You certainly usually find something, if you look, but it is not always quite the something you were after.”

J.R.R. Tolkien

King's Island

It has been pretty hectic with rehab and VBS following up JonCon and Origins. Will be posting more on Gen Con soon. We took our clan to King's Island Sunday. I couldn't ride the coasters but had a great time.

Quote of the Week

“To die will be an awfully big adventure.” - Aristotle

Hancock

I went and saw Hancock before the fireworks tonight. I really wasn't sure what to expect based on the previews and trailers I had seen. I have to be honest and saw it was better than I expected. Most Super Hero movies are pretty predictable but Hancock has some nice little twists. To say Hancock is a flawed hero is to say Gary's D&D characters are always a little passive in battle. Charlize Theron, who isn't one of my favorites, actually comes off as pretty hot in a few scenes.


This movie has some really funny scenes in it and over all it flows pretty well. There is something to be said for a Super Hero that is flawed like the rest of us. The sound track is pretty cool and has a wide range of genres. There is also a nice little twist in the plot that adds another side to the movie but they tip their hand if you are paying attention. Go see it and enjoy. I give it 3 Floyd's.

America

Happy July 4th.

As we gather with our friends and families let us take time to remember what has set this beloved Country apart from others through out history. It is our faith, and belief, that all men and women are created equal, that all men and women have certain unalienable rights. And while we don't always show it, especially to our fellow Americans, we are a Nation of God fearing, God loving people who believe, and act on the belief, that we should help a neighbor when he is in need, to give to make life better for others, to serve and protect the rights of the lesser. We take action to insure that the rights of the one are as valued as the rights of the many. We extend our strong right hand to other nations when they need it, often when they don't want it, not because we expect something in return but because we believe that we should love our neighbor and help our fellow men and women.

As we go to our picnics and parties, eww, ohh and ahh over the fireworks, and celebrate the birth of this great nation let us give thanks to our Creator for allowing us to live in the greatest country in history.