Frequently* Asked Questions about International Talk Like A Pirate Day
*Revised to add questions which we've actually be asked, if not "frequently," at least "now and then."
Q. The big one: WHY?
A. Why not?
Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. It adds a zest, a swagger, to your every day conversation. Do you need another reason?
Try it out. Let go, have a beer, burp in public. Say "Aarrr!!" Feels good, doesn't it?
Q. When is Talk Like A Pirate Day 2006 (2007, 2008, etc.)?
A. International Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't one o' those governmentally sanctioned holidays that shifts around to create a convenient three-day weekend. No, the date is ALWAYS Sept. 19 (Cap'n Slappy's ex-wife's birthday.) Now, occasionally Sept. 19 falls on a Sunday, and we recognize that may not meet everyone's desire for an excuse to party. While a lot of fun can be had ce;ebrating TLADP in a church setting (The choir will now sing, "How Great Thou Aaarrrrt!") we're suggesting that those of a more secular bent consider celebrating Talk Like A Pirate Weekend.
Q. What the heck is chum? And what's a chumbucket?
A. Chum is fish bait, usually blood, fish guts and skin chopped up and poured on the water to draw bigger fish. In his book, “Shark Trouble,” Peter Benchley refers to an old salt from Australia who used quartered horse carcasses to attract Great Whites. A chumbucket is the bucket which would hold the chum. No, people do not usually, willingly, knowingly consume chum. Such references in his column are one of Cap’n Slappy’s little jokes.
Why is Ol’ Chumbucket the nom de pirate of one of the Pirate Guys? John, who gave himself the nickname, likes to imagine his pirate alter ego as a failed ship’s cook who was given the sobriquet by a crew unhappy with the choice of entreés from the ship’s galley. Sometimes John wishes he'd given himself a more fierce pirate name, but most of the time he realizes this is about right.
Q. OK, settle this once and for all. Is it "Arrrrrrr," "Yarrrrr," "Yarrrrgh" or what?
A. Ol' Chumbucket has always held that the preferred exclamation be "Arrr!" and not, "Arrrgh!" because "Arrrgh!" is the sound one makes when one sits on a belayin' pin and no pirate would intentionally do that.
But the fact o' the matter is, thar be pirates what says, "Arrr!" AND pirates what says, "Arrrgh!" and thems what say, "Yarrr!" or even "Yarrrgh!" (Although "Yarrr!" tends to be a British variant and "Yarrgh" seems to be favored by the Dutch.)
But we don't care how ye say it! Your "Arrr!" should just come from yer heart and yer bowels and be a fully formed expression o' yer own Pirattitude!
Q. What does "savvy" mean?
A. Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for. For a time after the release of "Pirates of the Caribbean, this was among our most-frequently-asked questions.
The dictionary defines "savvy" as "wisdom, understanding." Used as a question,it can be taken to mean "get it?"
To help ye all remember, Cap'n Slappy has composed a little ditty:
It goes a little something like this:
S-is for the way you SASS my way!/ A-is for the ASS I kicked today!/ V and V-is VERY, VERY,/ stuck on how you're scary /Y-is for your YAP that's flappin'/ cuz ye won't shut yer trap and ...
SAVVY is just how bright you seem to me./ SAVVY an understanding wench, ye be. /Our love stands the measure /You know you're my buried treasure /SAVVY is why you've chosen me!
Q. How about "Shiver me timbers"?
A. When the wind blows hard on a wooden ship, the timbers literally rattle. This is a cause for surprise and concern ... therefore, "Shiver me timbers" is an expression of surprise.
Update: According to correspondent David Heizer: "To 'shiver' is defined by Merriam-Webster as, 'to break into many small pieces : shatter'. 'Tis not the mere rattlin' of the timbers in the wind that strikes terror into the heart of a pirate, but the full and catastrophic shiverin' (splinterin') of the mainmast (and other masts), whether by gale winds or cannon, which would leave him dead in the water and at the mercy of foe and starvation alike."
Q. Me wants to know ...
A. This qualifies as the Faux Pirate Usage That Most Often Drives Cap'n Slappy Nuts.( See question below).
T'quote the good Captain:
The use of "me" instead o' "I" when the personal pronoun is the subject o' the sentence would be more fittin' to Talk Like Thag the Caveman Day! "Me" doesn't have a "jolly ask of ye," - "I" do! Now, ye use the possessive form "me" instead o' "my" - which ye do just fine in "Catch me drift?" Which, of course, I don't.
Q. Have you heard the one about the pirate who walks into a bar ...
A. Yes.
As Cap'n Slappy says:
Thar be only three pirate jokes in the world. The biggest one is the one that ends with someone usin' "Arrr" in the punchline. Oh, sure, thar be plenty o' these, but they're all the same damn joke.
"What's the pirate movie rated? - Arrr!"
"What kind o' socks does a pirate wear? - Arrrrgyle!"
"What's the problem with the way a pirate speaks? - Arrrrticulation!"
...and so forth.
The second joke is the one wear the pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"
And finally. A little boy is trick or treatin' on Halloween by himself. He is dressed as a pirate. At one house, a friendly man asks him, "Where are your buccaneers?" The little boy responds, "On either side o' me 'buccan' head!"
And there ye have it. A symposium on pirate humor that'll last ye a lifetime - so long as life is violent and short.
And trust us, if you run into a fourth joke, we've heard that one, too. If ye think it's a real winner, then send it to PirateJokes.Com instead o' sendin' it to us.
Read more questions here.
